I am the Worst of all Sinners

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” 1 Timothy 1:15-16

I fear that we too often glance over this verse without really taking what it means to heart. The apostle Paul is a making a bold statement here. He is not speaking figuratively. He is wholly and honestly calling himself the worst of all sinners. In his own eyes, he was more deserving of God's fierce wrath than anyone else; and more so, the least deserving of all of God's mercy. God had brought Paul from a self-righteous Pharisee who trusted wholly in his own so-called good deeds, to someone who was completely humbled; being made fully aware of his own moral bankruptcy and absolute need of a savior. Paul had come to realize that he had absolutely no inherent goodness of his own and was therefore wholly and totally dependent upon the goodness of Christ. It was no longer Paul's own righteousness, but solely the righteousness of Christ, that by faith, had been imputed upon him. Paul saw himself for who he really was; he saw the hypocrisy that he had lived in; he saw, foremost, the unending riches of God's sovereign, unmerited grace that was bestowed upon him, the most undeserving of all sinners.

This message stands in stark contrast to today's society, where even the most vile of men consider themselves to be inherently good. The world sees itself not as fallen and desperately in need of a savior, but as a people who can get into heaven of their own righteousness – apart from any need of God. The sovereign Lord, in their eyes, is nothing more than some distant cosmic administrator who may occasionally help them along in life's journey, but who lays no claim whatsoever to their lives – that is if they believe in Him at all. He will not condemn them, they think. “That is only for the likes of Hitler,” they say. They think they can get into heaven upon their own righteousness – all the while they have none. The people of this world see not their utter inward depravity. They cannot see how much they hate God, and how unrighteous they truly are. They cannot see that there is no good in them whatsoever. They have been blinded by their own pride. To make matters worse, many of these people are in our churches, living under the false presumption that they are right with God, not living in the righteousness of Christ, but living and trusting in their own righteousness, all the while continuing in wickedness.

How can we be so ignorant of Paul's message? Do we merely sit back and let Paul confess his absolute depravity, and at the same time consider ourselves to be better than he? It may very well be that Paul, by his deeds, is the worst of all sinners. But more important is that Paul saw in his own eyes that he was the worst of all sinners. Paul saw that he was in no way good. He saw that he was wicked without means. Does this not apply to us as well? Are we not all the same in regard to our sinfulness?

I will be first to say that I am the worst of all sinners. Like Paul, I too once walked in self-righteousness. But having been saved by His great mercy, I cannot lay claim to any righteousness of my own. The Lord has been continually humbling me. I have come to see that, at least in my own eyes, I am the vilest of sinners. If there is anyone who is deserving of the eternal fires of hell, it is surely me. In my own eyes, I have done more to provoke God to anger than anyone else. I am the worst, I am the vilest, I am the most hideous of all creatures. I have no righteousness of my own. The evil of my heart knows no bounds. I cannot trust in my own good to save me, for I have none. I am morally bankrupt. I come to the Lord with nothing but a guilty plea, knowing the righteous judgment I cannot escape. I am like the tax collector. I stand before God, defenseless, knowing my own guilt. And yet, He has had mercy upon me. Another has taken my place. Christ has bore my sins, and his righteousness has been given to me. No longer am I the Pharisee who trusts in his own supposed righteousness. I am the tax collector, vile and despicable, unlovable, coming before an all-merciful savior. How great His mercy indeed, that He should save a sinner such as myself! There is nothing in me that He should find attractive, nothing in me that He should see as worthy. No, I am nothing, an object of wrath. How great His love then, that he should save a sinner like me!

I charge you, do not look to yourself for righteousness, for you will find none. Look to Christ, the source of all righteousness. This is how we must come before Christ. Not having any righteousness of our own, but trusting in His righteousness completely. Let His blood be upon us, cleansing us of our sins, and his righteousness be given unto us, that we may do the will of the Father. We must realize our deep, inward moral bankruptcy. We must see that we have nothing to offer Christ; that we must indeed throw ourselves at His feet and ask for mercy. Do you consider yourself to be righteous in any way? Scripture bears witness against you: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one” (Romans 3:10-12). Therefore, turn from your own righteousness (which is in truth unrighteousness) and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Surrender to Him, for only in that will you find mercy.

We must see that we are without righteousness. Otherwise, we cannot truly love the lost – and certainly not our own enemies. Even for our worst of enemies, we must see ourselves as worse than they. We must see ourselves as less than they; that we are, in our own eyes, far more vile than they are. Otherwise, we exalt ourselves over them, considering ourselves to somehow be better. Out of that only comes pride, bitterness and hatred. The only difference between those of us who are saved and our enemies is that Christ has given us mercy. We are no better than they, no more deserving than they, no more inherently good than they; no we are just as wicked, and so without bounds. How we ought to love them! Those who hate us are just as in need of a savior as we, for “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Therefore, we ought to love all the more, being given that which we did not deserve, desiring that all who hate us be given the same.

Therefore, in our own eyes, we should be the very least. Though we put God first in our lives, we should not take second. Let us be the very last. Let our hearts be humbled and contrite before the great and merciful sovereign God, and let us be the least among all men.